Linda Westbrook

18 Dec 2019

From Our Home to Yours

What a wonderful year! I loved presenting at the schools, conferences and businesses that have invited me to share my UPower message.

I have had the opportunity to connect with so many amazing people who believe that emotions matter! Speaking of emotions…let me share the behind the scenes of our FUN family photo.

Our 7 year old son Kai was so annoyed when I told him we were having a family photo taken. His reaction, ‘I don’t want to! It will be boring!’

I had thought, before I even mentioned it, that he would probably rather be playing with a friend instead of posing for the camera, but I wasn’t prepared for the extreme stance he took. His ‘late to bed’ and ‘early to rise’ certainly didn’t help his mood or reaction.

So let’s see … we have lack of sleep, mixed with ‘I don’t want to’ … causing family photo shoot meltdown.

Trying to reason with him was not getting us anywhere. Kai’s emotions were running too high. Off he stomped to his room. We let him be. We let his emotions run their course.

Then my husband, George came up with a brilliant idea, ‘Kai, how about we wear hockey jerseys in the photo.’ Kai was all ears. My husband was enrolling Kai by speaking to his main interest…Hockey!

Kai said excitedly, ‘Why don’t we all wear jerseys!’ His mood totally changed as we started looking around our home for jerseys and wouldn’t you know it, since my husband is a long time Pittsburg fan and I’m a Sidney Crosby Fan, we found 3 Penguins Jerseys.

I definitely wasn’t planning on wearing a jersey for our family Christmas photo! But … being open to possibilities brought us a solution.

It ended up being the BEST family photo shoot we have ever had. It was Fun! We role played hockey scenes and we laughed a lot. We didn’t let our emotions stop us from creating a GREAT memory!

Whether you are a Pens Fan or not … from our family to yours … Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Happy New Year too!

Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be Wonderful!

Until next time…

12 Dec 2019

I Just Want to Be Me

I received an email from a student who felt they were two different people – one side of them is their school self, the other side is their home self.

I could relate to this student as I remember my ‘school self’ being self conscious – worried about what others thought about me – wanting to be liked and accepted by everyone. I did have confident moments and many good times in school, but there was a voice in my head sometimes saying, ‘What will they think? Do they really like me?‘

Looking back, I can see that there were times when those self-defeating thoughts stopped me from being totally free to Just Be Me.

My ‘home self’ felt and still feels free – a place where I allow myself to relax and be me. When I am home I don’t worry about my clothes matching or what my hair looks like. I can choose to change into my pyjamas as soon as I step inside the door and to feel my true emotions without worry of judgments.

When you are not being who you really are, you are most likely worried about what other people are thinking about you. I still have moments when I worry what others think of me. But now I recognize those moments.

That recognition now gives me two choices: Allow those thoughts to hold me back from being me or notice the thought and take a stand for who I am regardless of the opinions of others.

The true essence of who you are should not change from place to place. If you feel you have to pretend to be someone that you are not in order to ‘fit in’, not only is it exhausting, but also frustrating.

Being true to you will be way more fulfilling than trying to be someone that you aren’t. Your real friends will accept you for who you are.

At the end of the day I believe it is imperative that you can say ‘I am proud of who I was today.’

Until next time…

18 Nov 2019

Does Common Sense Exist?

“Common sense is sound practical judgment concerning everyday matters, or a basic ability to perceive, understand, and judge that is shared by nearly all people.”

Let’s dive into the definition…

Is sense really common?

The above definition implies that the average person should just know how to act in specific situations, but the problem with that is we are all different. You and I weren’t raised the same, didn’t learn the same things, didn’t have the same experiences, don’t live by the same rules—so what may seem to be common sense to me could be new information for you and vice versa. Wait, what?!

Here’s my theory… If sense were common, then we wouldn’t see road rage, violence, greed, and poor manners. No one would fall out, breakup, or argue over how to parent or teach children. We’d all agree on the fundamentals in life.

But we don’t.

Different experiences = Different sense.

Through my work, I’ve learned that sense and awareness is not common for people. Our experiences impact what we learn and how we perceive what happens around us and because we all experience different circumstances, we learn different lessons. There’s nothing common about it.

For example, my parents raised me to believe that mistakes are opportunities—an essential part of learning and growth. This is now common sense to me, but when I present this idea to a child who was raised to believe mistakes should be avoided, it’s new for them. They’ve learned the opposite.

When our version of sense differs, whose opinion is common?

None.

Does this sound familiar? Someone acts in a way that surprises you and your instant reaction is: ‘Well, it’s common sense, right?’

But what if it’s not?

I remember one day we had guests over. After greeting them at the door, I expected they would take off their shoes. Instead, they walked around inside with their shoes on.

And here’s where sense isn’t common. At my house, we remove our shoes at the door, at their house that isn’t the expectation.

What if it’s not about common sense but rather expectation?

When your expectations aren’t communicated, others won’t know what you want. How would my guests know to remove their shoes if they normally don’t at their house? In this case, I should have politely asked them to leave their shoes at the door They would then know my expectations instead of me relying on common sense.

It’s too easy to jump to the assumption that someone should know better because it’s common sense.

The more helpful reaction is to identify what your expectation is and clearly and politely communicate it to the other person.It’s simple, really! By being clear about expectations you can save yourself and others from unnecessary disappointment.

Until next time…

6 Nov 2019

What does it Take to Forgive?

The classroom culture was being affected by a few students who were holding onto words and actions that had taken place since…wait for it…GRADE 2!! For the last 6 years they tried to move on but ‘the moving on’ was a struggle because they had never forgiven each other.

There was a shift in the room when the students communicated how they FELT about what happened in grade 2.

They realized the problem wasn’t what happened in grade 2, the problem was the emotions the circumstance triggered. They never learned to express their emotions or move through them in a healthy way or forgive.

They agreed they wanted to create a school culture where respect and kindness rule. Hard to do with a dark cloud of emotions hovering over you – easier to accomplish when you are willing to listen to each other’s emotions with compassion and respect. So that’s what we worked on during the workshop and it was incredible to see the shift.

Forgiveness isn’t saying what happened is ok – it’s saying that you are no longer willing to carry around the pain, anger and resentment.

Once they reached the point where they were able to forgive themselves and those around them, the room we were sitting in became a lighter, brighter and more connected place.

We ended in a circle.

As each person shared a piece of wisdom for the group, we wrapped coloured string around each wrist so they could see that through sharing they are connected. Before we cut the string between each of them (so they could each leave with a string bracelet), one person shouted ‘let’s all link our hands!’

Until next time,

23 Oct 2019

3 Sure Fire Ways to Be Resilient

“Resilience: noun

The ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change: toughness
The ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.

What does it mean to be tough? Or to be elastic as a person?

Maybe we bend, but never break. Maybe we bruise, but are not broken. We survive hardships and heartbreaks and come out stronger on the other side when resilience guides us through.

It’s important to note that resilience isn’t a mysterious exterior force some of us are gifted with (even though it may feel that way sometimes), but a choice we make in the face of a challenge. It’s how quick we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and choose to take another step forward. It can be a difficult skill to learn, but one that will carry us through tough times and uncomfortable emotions in a way that reacting negatively never can. But how do you learn resilience?

That’s right—it’s learned, like any other skill.

Here are 3 sure-fire ways to developing the skill of resilience:

1. Character

Challenges bring up tough, overwhelming emotions like: sadness, disappointment, anger, frustration—emotions that make it difficult to make choices that show our character. Instead of reacting out of emotions during challenging circumstances, can you acknowledge your emotions, identify them, and move through them in a healthy way?

It takes courage to acknowledge emotions and find the determination and confidence to keep moving forward.

You are more than the adversity you face and building a strong character will be your pathway to accept and overcome the obstacles that may stand in your way.

2. Support

Try as some of us might, we can’t go very far without support from others. A strong support system is crucial to bouncing back from challenging times.

When you are facing a challenge, reach out to others and ask for help even though you may feel embarrassed, nervous or scared. People who care for and love you will help you move forward. They will give you the hope you need to believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel that seems winding and endless.

3. Perception

Remember this: Challenges are chapters in your life not your whole story. I say it often because it’s true and realizing this will change your perception of every roadblock.

Resilience is very much based on perception. How do you see what you’re going through? Do you look at it as ‘this is what my life will look and feel like forever’ or do you perceive challenges as ways to learn and grow? Altering your perception alters whether you stay down or bounce back.

We all want to keep stepping one foot in front of the other with the belief that challenges have an end point. We all need to believe that there is some purpose in what happened.

Resilience in Practice

Does it seem difficult to learn resilience? Sometimes it definitely does. Here’s an exercise my mum taught me that I use to this day to help me bounce back.

When I was 15, I hit the wrong note during a big singing performance. After listening to me express my embarrassment, frustration, and disappointment, my mum asked me one question: “What is the gift?”

Me: What do you mean? It was so embarrassing! There is no gift.

My mum: What’s the gift? What did you learn?

Me: Nothing. (I was still so upset with myself)

My mum: Write 3 positive things you received from this challenge.

With a calm brain, I reflected on the gifts.

What did I learn that helped me build my resilience?

The breakdown: I chose to act based on my character of respect for myself, others and my dreams. I chose to stay determined to keep singing. I had the support of my mum and I realized that changing my perception from what happened to what I learned helped me bounce back.

This exercise helped train my brain to look for gratitude even in the darkest moments.

Can you practice the same? Can you think of 3 gifts you have received from a challenging time?

Until next time,

10 Oct 2019

You have the Final Say About You

It can be easy to allow negative opinions and judgments become what we believe to be true about ourselves. Important reminder: You have the final say in what you choose to believe about yourself, your body, your ability, your world.

Think of 3 things you are grateful for – I’ll wait…

Now that you have 3, write them down. Don’t have pen and paper…type them in the notes section of your phone or email them to yourself. As of this minute you are armed with a way to combat those self defeating thoughts.

Gratitude is transformational! When you are choosing to focus on what you are grateful for it transforms how you see yourself and your life! You are giving yourself the gift of inner peace and happiness. You are giving yourself YOU.

Will it take practice & effort to choose your thoughts and focus on gratitude – yes.

We may not be able to change others’ opinions and judgments (wouldn’t that be nice?) but, we can change what we choose to focus on and believe…which changes EVERYTHING.

Until next time,