You are Enough Archives

20 Mar 2025

When Kids Want to Give Up

For two years, fear held me back from trying out for Canadian Idol. The third year, I finally said yes. I made it through two rounds, but when I stood in front of the celebrity judges and sang, they said, “You can’t sing! Do something else!”

I was embarrassed, devastated, and angry. I went home thinking, Maybe they’re right. Maybe I should give up. I started to doubt myself.

After a day of feeling sorry for myself, I made a choice: No. I love to sing. I’m going to work harder and improve.

Today, I’m a singer and speaker. If I had let their words define me, I would have quit on something I love.

But how many kids do give up on something they love because someone tells them they’re not good enough?

When I ask students, “How many of you have given up on something you love because of someone’s opinion?” hands shoot up—including the hands of educators.

Two ways to help kids overcome doubt:

1. Support your child in completing this worksheet

2. Encourage them to ask, “Do I love this?” instead of “Am I good at this?”

Too often, kids measure their worth by others’ opinions. Help them focus on what brings them joy, and remind them that skills improve with effort.

This is what I know: Encouraging kids to keep going, even when they face criticism, helps them build resilience that lasts a lifetime. What matters most is believing in themselves!

Until next time…

5 Feb 2025

The Truth About Parenting: What Every Parent Needs to Hear

When I speak with parents, I notice a common thread—a strong desire to support their children and help them thrive. They’re not chasing perfection – parenting through imperfections is something every parent experiences. They just want reassurance that they’re on the right path. And when they discover new strategies, they’re eager to learn and grow alongside their kids.

Parenting comes with highs and lows, and some days, it can feel overwhelming, but here’s the truth—you’re doing better than you think.

In the midst of the busyness and uncertainty, here’s what matters:

Trust Yourself: There’s no perfect way to parent, but your love, effort, and presence matter more than any mistake you might make. Trust that you are enough.

Progress Over Perfection: Parenting isn’t about getting everything right; it’s about showing up, learning, and enjoying the journey. Celebrate the small wins—whether it’s a shared laugh, a moment of patience, or overcoming a challenge together. Parenting through imperfections allows room for these moments of connection.

Embrace the Imperfections: Parenting can be messy, and that’s okay. It’s the mistakes and moments of vulnerability that teach your child resilience and understanding. Embrace each challenge as an opportunity to grow and learn from the experience.

This is what I know:

✔️ Kids don’t need perfect parents.

✔️ You are not alone—every parent faces struggles.

✔️ Mistakes are part of learning, for both you and your child.

✔️ Love and consistency matter more than perfection.

You got this!

Until next time…

4 Dec 2024

Is Your Stress Effecting Your Child’s Performance?

Have you ever watched your child face a big moment—whether it’s playing in a game, performing on stage, or preparing to speak in front of their class— and found yourself more nervous than they are? The ‘parent stress effect’ can create added pressure for children, making their own nerves harder to manage.”

After one of my presentations, a student shared, “I get so nervous singing in front of people, but it’s even harder because my parents get nervous too. They’re scared I’ll make a mistake.”

I asked her, “Do you think their nerves make you doubt yourself ?” She nodded quickly. “Yeah,” she said. “I just want to enjoy singing, but I feel like I have to make sure they’re okay too.”

Sometimes the hardest part isn’t even the thing you’re doing—it’s managing the expectations caused by the ‘parent stress effect’.

I asked, “What do you love about singing?” Her face lit up. “It makes me feel alive.”

I told her, “Your parents are nervous because they care about you and don’t want you to feel hurt if something goes wrong. You can let them know that even if you make a mistake, you will be OK.”

We talked about how focusing on the joy of what you love can shift your mindset.

I shared this: “You don’t have to sing perfectly; you just have to sing with heart. When you let others feel the love you have for what you’re doing, that’s what they’ll remember.”

This is what I know: The next time someone you care about steps into the spotlight, whether it’s on stage, in sports, or in life, let your ‘cheer’ be the loudest thing they hear. When you cheer for courage over outcome, you create a space for growth, confidence and beautiful, human imperfection.

Until next time,

3 May 2023

Does Your Child Compare Themselves to Others?

I recently heard this comment from a student, ‘I look around at others and they seem to have it all. Things would be easier if I could be them. I know I would be happier.’

This is what I know: It’s OK to admire others. The danger occurs when kids believe that they would be happier if they were someone else.

People’s lives often look better from the outside. They might post perfect pictures on social media or it may seem that things come easily to them or that they are happy all the time. Reminding our children that everyone has challenges and everyone experiences difficult emotions is essential to their overall well-being.

Instead of envying others, we must model and teach kids to choose to work on being the best person that they can be – to take pride in who they are and their uniqueness. Defining who they are and the character traits that are important to them helps build confidence, self-acceptance and resilience.

Here is an affirmation exercise to help your kids admire and love who they are:

Starting with ‘I am _____________and I am enough’, ask them to fill in the blank with the answer to this question: What do you want to believe about YOU? Some examples of what they could put in the blank are: confident, thoughtful, accepting, empathetic, kind.

Once completed, place it somewhere so that it is a visual reminder of what they want to believe about themselves.

Have your child repeat it daily. This will remind them that they are important, that they are somebody. It will create a feeling of happiness and pride the more they repeat and believe it.

Teaching children to celebrate and be proud of who they are compared to no one else, boosts their self-esteem, self-confidence and will ultimately make them feel capable of navigating day-to-day challenges and emotions.

Until next time…

12 Oct 2022

How to Help a Child’s Negative Self-Talk

Kids are constantly encountering new experiences and challenges which can trigger uncomfortable emotions causing them to speak negatively about themselves. No one wants to hear a child putting themselves down.

Positive self-talk is about speaking to themselves with compassion, empathy, kindness and respect.

Benefits of Positive Self-Talk

Builds self-esteem
Enhances emotional & mental well-being
Improves self-regulation
Boosts confidence in their own abilities
Influences their choices & decisions
Develops resilience

Tips to Promote Positive Self-Talk

Emotions – Kids want to know that they are not bad, nor wrong for feeling how they feel. We all feel a wide range of emotions. They can feel angry, frustrated, disappointed and still show respect for themselves, others and their dreams. Kids need to be reminded, ‘It’s ok to feel.’ These words provide both comfort, validation and connection.

Reframing – Redirect their thoughts by asking them questions like: ‘What is one lesson you learned from this experience?’ or ‘Who could you ask to help support you?’ or ‘ What could you do differently the next time?’ Helping them see the circumstance through a different lens helps them to learn and grow.

Model positive self-talk – Modelling what you want children to learn is the best way to teach. If you find you are putting yourself down, admit it. Use it as a teachable moment. Let’s face it – we’re not perfect! Let them know what you wish you would have said.

Recognize their talents & strengths – Even though it’s important for them to recognize negative thoughts and uncomfortable feelings, they can learn to reframe their mindset and focus on their strengths. Have them create a list of their talents & strengths to have a visual reminder.

Gratitude – Choosing to focus on something they are grateful for is a powerful mindset shift that helps them bounce back from challenging times and move though tough emotions. Since their brain can only focus on one thought at a time, choosing to look at what they are grateful for (especially during difficult times and mistakes made) is a powerful practice that strengthens resilience. Ask them, ‘What could you be grateful for from the challenge or mistake?‘

Over time what children repeat determines their belief about themselves and their abilities. Below is a list of phrases your child/student can use to remind them that what they say matters to their confidence, resilience & well-being.

Until next time…

11 Dec 2021

Your Mindset: Friend or Foe?

Your mindset can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

This what I know: Your mindset matters! It determines what you are willing to experience, ideas you are open to and who you see when you look in the mirror. Changing your mindset doesn’t happen by chance. It happens by choice.

Here are 4 simple effective ways to train your mindset to be your friend:

1) Add the word YET at the end of a thought to give Hope and Growth. Ex: ‘I’m not good at that … yet.’ The simple word YET reminds you that your efforts will pay off and that there is room to learn and grow.

2) Mind over Matter. Instead of choosing to focus on the obstacles that are in your way – focus on what you want to achieve. Acknowledge the obstacles and then choose to focus on your desired end result to keep you motivated.

3) Affirmations. What you tell yourself and repeat, over time will be what you believe. Choose your thoughts wisely. ‘I’m not enough’ will create a very different feeling than repeating ‘I am enough’. Only you have the power to choose what you tell yourself.

4) Gratitude. Choosing to focus on something you are grateful for is a powerful mindset shift that boosts happiness and helps you bounce back from challenging times and move though tough emotions. Since your brain can only focus on one thought at a time – choosing to look at what you are grateful for (especially during difficult times and mistakes made) is a powerful practice that strengthens resilience.

Until next time…

10 Nov 2021

What If They Don’t Like Me?

If you were to ask me what one of my biggest worries was as a teen, it would be ‘what if people don’t like me?’ I can remember having sleepless nights worrying about things I said and did – wondering if I offended anyone or looked silly.

While the desire to be liked is normal, believing that it’s necessary for everyone to like you is unreasonable. Having that belief started to impact my self-esteem and confidence. I started to base my self-worth on what others thought instead of what I thought. I was becoming more concerned with others liking me instead of me liking myself.

One day I realized the only person I needed to impress was the person I saw when I looked in the mirror – ME!

An activity that really helped me let go and allow my unique qualities to grow and shine was creating mindful thoughts. (an activity that works for all ages)

Take a piece of paper and write: ‘I CHOOSE ______’ and fill in the blank with what it is that you want to say to yourself. Create as many as you need.

Examples:
I choose to believe I am enough.
I choose to believe I am courageous & talented.
I choose to believe I am perfect just the way I am.

Place the paper(s) where you can see them as a reminder of what you are choosing to say to yourself. The more you repeat it, the more you will believe it.

This is what I know: When you choose to let go of worrying and choose to start accepting that not everyone will like you, not only will you be able to focus on the people who are in your cheering section, you will also find yourself much happier.

Until next time…

26 Oct 2021

Are you feeling discouraged and want to give up?

When times are tough and emotions run high, it can be easy to feel discouraged and want to give up.

In those times try this:

1. Be aware of the emotions you are feeling (name them). Honour them by reminding yourself it’s OK to feel them.

2. Take some deep breaths and reflect back on how far you have actually come. The challenges you have overcome to get you to where you are today, use this as strength to keep moving forward.

3. Remind yourself that the journey isn’t supposed to be perfect and that you have the tools to dig deep and keep going.

This is What I Know: Challenges are chapters of your life not your whole story! You Are Enough! You Matter! You’ve got this!

P.S. These strategies also work for your children/students.

Until next time…

14 Oct 2021

Kids want to know ‘They Are Enough!’

I want kids to know it’s possible to face adversity and still choose to believe in yourself! That is why, in my presentations to youth, I share stories about two dreams I had growing up and the challenges I encountered along the way.

My first dream was singing the national anthem at a Blue Jays game. Despite being told NO multiple times, and feeling frustrated and embarrassed each time, I chose to keep asking. My persistence and belief in myself turned that dream into a reality.

The second was auditioning on Canadian Idol. I made it past two rounds of judges only to hear from the celebrity judges, ‘You can’t sing, give up and do something else!’ When I left the competition that day, I felt sad, frustrated, angry and disappointed. I wanted to give up! But then I realized, if I chose to give up, I wouldn’t be respecting myself nor my dreams. So, I chose to keep singing and recorded multiple songs.

Even though I encountered many challenges, I’m so glad I decided to learn the important lessons those challenges were teaching me – lessons of determination, putting in the effort, and most importantly – bouncing back from disappointment so that I could move forward with even more motivation to pursue my dreams.

This is What I Know: We can’t save our children/students from challenges and tough emotions, but we can support them, share with them, and teach them ways to keep going. Reminding them that it’s not as much about the challenges and emotions they face, as it is about who they choose to become and how they choose to bounce back. Challenges are chapters of life, not the whole story and when life gets tough, I want them to know…They Are Enough!

Until next time…

10 Oct 2020

I Am Enough.

Have you ever found yourself thinking, ‘I’m not good enough’ or questioning ‘do I matter?’

We all have moments of self-doubts. The problem is those self-doubts keep you from reaching your greatest potential.

Years ago I realized I had a choice – to believe my self-doubts or replace them with three powerful words… ‘I AM ENOUGH.’

By repeating these 3 words you will strengthen your confidence allowing you to carry on with the important work you are doing! It will also rewire your mind for positivity, gratitude and love.

It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes practice, consistency and will-power.

The key is to repeat it often so it becomes a habit.

Helpful Tip: Grab a piece of paper and write in BIG letters ‘I AM ENOUGH’ and place it where you will see it daily. Every time a thought or feeling comes up that questions whether you are enough, take 3 deep breaths and mindfully repeat… ‘I AM ENOUGH.’

You are Enough! The world needs YOU and your unique gifts.

Until next time…