Do you find it challenging to prioritize yourself? Me too. I’ve been improving because I’ve learned that setting healthy boundaries, even though sometimes stressful, is crucial for my well-being.
It’s perfectly okay to say ‘no,’ even when saying ‘yes’ is an option. At times, choosing to say ‘no’ is one of the most effective ways to prioritize yourself.
By finding ways to continually set healthy boundaries, you safeguard your time, energy and emotional well-being.
Tips to prioritize yourself and maintain healthy boundaries.
Pause Before Responding: Before saying ‘yes’ out of habit, take a moment to reflect. Is this something you want or need to do? Give yourself permission to say ‘no’ when it doesn’t serve you.
Communicate Clearly and Calmly: Let people know what you can or cannot do without over-explaining or apologizing. A simple, “I can’t do that right now, but thank you for understanding” can go a long way.
Consistency: People may push back, especially if they’re used to you saying ‘yes.’ Stay firm and remember why you set the boundary in the first place.
Remind yourself: ‘Their disappointment is not my guilt.’ It’s okay to uphold a boundary, even if others feel disappointed. People are more resilient in handling disappointment than we often assume.
This is what I know: When you honour your boundaries, you’re prioritizing yourself and protecting your well-being, and in turn, fostering healthier, more respectful relationships. People may not always like it, but they will respect you for it in the long run.
11 Jan 2024
Riding the Waves of Life with Determination
Every challenge you have faced and the choices you have chosen to make has created who you are today.
Picture yourself as the captain of a ship. Sometimes the water is calm and the choices are easy. Other times, the calm waters give way to crashing waves, intensifying the difficulty of your choices
Knowing your destination is crucial for guiding your ship in the right direction, and this holds true in life as well. Being clear about the person you want to be, the character traits you want to process, and the goals you want to achieve, gives clarity when navigating through tough challenges. You have a destination and even if the massive waves of your circumstances try to throw you off course, you persevere and continue moving towards your ultimate goal.
When you aren’t clear about what matters to you, it’s easy to allow circumstances and the emotions they trigger, dictate your actions and choices, which leads to a feeling of being out of control. Acting with intention instills confidence.
By respecting your goals, and acting in alignment with them, you will find yourself making small choices every day that help build the person you imagine.
Remember, it’s your choices, not your circumstances, that truly define you. Consider who you want to become, the traits you want to embody, and the goals you wish to fulfill. This now becomes the destination that guides you.
What I know is: All is possible when you choose to be determined, put in the effort and most importantly – BELIEVE in YOU ALWAYS – even when you are in the midst of a fierce storm!
Until next time…
23 Nov 2023
Helping Kids Get Excited about their Unique Beauty
We talk a lot about the issue of ‘bullying others’, even dedicating an entire week to it. However, it’s crucial to acknowledge that kids also ‘bully themselves’, creating negative self-talk that can have a lasting impact on their mental and emotional well-being, as well as their confidence.
I’d like to share a personal experience when I found myself going down a self-defeating, self-bullying path.
In grade 8 I represented my school in the running relay at the annual track and field day. After I had competed, a classmate came up to me and blurted, ‘You have big, fat legs.’ I was shocked and hurt.
What my classmate didn’t know was that I was already struggling to like my legs. I used to compare them to my friend’s legs – wishing mine were more like hers. Since my legs were bigger and shorter, I made it mean that mine were not beautiful. Comparing myself to her legs was ridiculous – it wasn’t going to change anything – it certainly wasn’t going to make my legs longer and thinner. Knowing this didn’t stop me from complaining about my legs to my mum.
One day she turned to me and said, ‘Let’s go to the doctor and see if she can cut them off.’ That was a wake-up call for me. Gradually I began to realize that I was wasting so much time and energy bullying myself. I was missing out on the beauty around me, including my own.
If a child you know is struggling with body image challenges, here are a few suggestions on what I did to help me be more appreciative of my body:
1. I found a photo of an Olympic athlete who had big, muscular legs standing proudly on the podium after winning a gold medal. She was happy and proud, not concerned about the size of her legs. That photo, pinned on my wall, inspired me to always remember to have an ‘attitude of gratitude’.
2. I wrote uplifting, encouraging, supportive thoughts and words. I placed them everywhere that I would see them. I repeated them over and over, knowing that the voice I heard the most throughout my day was my own, so I needed my words to be powerful and positive. Two of my favorites: ‘I choose to love and respect myself’ and the word ‘gratitude’.
3. I took the parts of my body that I resented and wrote down all the reasons why I needed to be grateful. For instance, recognizing that my legs allow me to run and walk, wear my favourite boots and take me wherever I want. This exercise played a pivotal role in helping me appreciate and be thankful for my body.
4. I posted photos of myself as a little girl around my room, choosing photos from ages 3 – 8. In these photos I saw a young girl who loved life, who smiled just because she could. She didn’t worry about how much she weighed or how big her legs were. These photos reminded me to treat myself with kindness and compassion
This is what I know: It’s crucial to teach and model to kids the importance of kindness, acceptance and compassion, not only towards others, but also towards themselves.
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