I can remember my son at 2 years old saying, ‘I can’t!’ My husband and I both looked at each other and thought ‘no way is that going to be his mindset!’ Every time Kai would say, ‘I can’t!’ we’d have him repeat, ‘I can. I just need help.’ This is now an ongoing mantra in our home.
This mantra gives your child courage.
Changing ‘I can’t’ to ‘I can’ allows your child not only be determined and successful but only to believe in possibility. Adding ‘I just need help’, creates an opening to ask for & receive support.
Getting a child to ask for help is a skill.
THINK ABOUT THIS: What emotions are making it harder for your child/student to ask for help? Emotions like embarrassment, fear, frustration and shyness can stop them from having the courage to reach out for the help and support they need and deserve.
REMEMBER THIS: Getting a child to ask for help is a skill that shows strength, confidence and curiosity. It’s an important part of a growth mindset.
TRY THIS: The next time you hear your child/student saying, ‘I can’t’ gently remind them to replace those words with…
I CAN. I JUST NEED HELP!
Until next time…
5 May 2022
Does Your Child Worry?
It’s normal for kids to worry from time to time. The worrying child can be filled with lots of stressful ‘what ifs’.
What if they don’t like me?
What if I don’t make the team?
What if my parents/teachers get mad at me?
What if I can’t do that?
Kids have vivid imaginations, making it easy to create worse case scenarios for their worries.
Choosing What You Say to a Child
Reminding the worrying child that they have control over what thoughts they choose to focus on, is essential to helping them move through their ‘what ifs’.
Resist the urge to say, ‘You don’t need to worry. You’ll be fine. Stop thinking about it.’ Kids tell me they find these words unhelpful.
Instead, TRY THIS… acknowledge the worry and the emotion that the worry triggers. Then have them do the following exercise to help them move through their worry.