We say we want our kids to be resilient. To have confidence. To take a stand.
But what happens when they talk back, disagree or express frustration to us, our first reaction might be: “That’s disrespectful!”
What if it’s not talking back…what if it’s speaking up?
Since they’re still learning how to express themselves, their words won’t always come out the right way. They might speak louder or sharper than we’d like—not because they’re being disrespectful, but because they’re still figuring out how to speak in a way that gets heard.
If we want our kids to speak up with confidence and share what they feel, we can’t shut them down the moment it’s hard for us to hear.
What if we paused before reacting? What if we asked ourselves: “Are they being rude… or are they trying to be real?”
Instead of seeing defiance, we see courage. Instead of shutting it down, we see an opening—for connection, and maybe even conversation.
This is what I know: When we give kids space to speak up—without fear of being shut down—we’re helping them build the very skills we say we value: Confidence. Courage. Character.
Until next time…
20 Mar 2025
When Kids Want to Give Up
For two years, fear held me back from trying out for Canadian Idol. The third year, I finally said yes. I made it through two rounds, but when I stood in front of the celebrity judges and sang, they said, “You can’t sing! Do something else!”
I was embarrassed, devastated, and angry. I went home thinking, Maybe they’re right. Maybe I should give up. I started to doubt myself.
After a day of feeling sorry for myself, I made a choice: No. I love to sing. I’m going to work harder and improve.
Today, I’m a singer and speaker. If I had let their words define me, I would have quit on something I love.
But how many kids do give up on something they love because someone tells them they’re not good enough?
When I ask students, “How many of you have given up on something you love because of someone’s opinion?” hands shoot up—including the hands of educators.
Two ways to help kids overcome doubt:
1. Support your child in completing this worksheet
2. Encourage them to ask, “Do I love this?” instead of “Am I good at this?”
Too often, kids measure their worth by others’ opinions. Help them focus on what brings them joy, and remind them that skills improve with effort.
This is what I know: Encouraging kids to keep going, even when they face criticism, helps them build resilience that lasts a lifetime. What matters most is believing in themselves!
Until next time…
28 Aug 2024
Rock the School Year: 3 Tips for a Child’s Success
The beginning of the school year – a time when emotions can be heightened, from excitement to anxiety and all the feelings in between. I remember those feelings from my own childhood!
Telling a child… ‘you can do this, you’re stronger than you think, you’ll get through this, just be yourself, focus on the fun parts’ – they can’t – no matter how many times they hear it! When emotions are overwhelming, it can be hard for kids to focus on positive affirmations or past successes.
Without strategies a child’s emotions can quickly become unmanageable, affecting their resilience and heightening their anxiety.
Three tips to help kids work through their emotions:
1. Problem-Solving is an essential tool for building emotional resilience. Encourage kids to reflect on their emotions and how to navigate different situations through role-playing. For example, you can create scenarios they might encounter at school, such as dealing with a disagreement with a friend, walking down the hall past older students, handling peer pressure, or tackling a difficult homework assignment. Acting out these scenarios allows them to express their feelings in a safe space, gain a sense of control, practice effective responses and explore various solutions.
2. Positive Self-Talk plays a significant role in building emotional resilience by helping kids manage their thoughts, emotions and reactions in challenging circumstances. It helps counteract negative thoughts that can lead to feelings of anxiety, stress or self-doubt. Reminding themselves that they can handle the situation or that they’ve been through tough times before, can reduce feelings of overwhelm and boost their confidence. Help your child come up with a positive phrase, such as ‘I can do this’, ‘I believe in myself’ or ‘I am brave.’ Suggest they write it down and place it in their room as a constant reminder.
3. Mindfulness Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation and visualization significantly strengthen their emotional resilience by fostering increased awareness, more effective management and deeper understanding of how emotions influence their moods. By practicing mindfulness, kids learn to observe their thoughts and emotions without immediately reacting to them. This pause creates space to choose more constructive responses, helping to prevent impulsive reactions and reduce emotional outbursts. Here’s a link to a 2-minute meditation that my 12-year-old son likes https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jholcb8Gz0M
By equipping them with these strategies, you’re not only helping them manage stressful emotions but also fostering a sense of inner strength and calm that will serve them throughout their lives.
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