When times are tough and emotions run high, it can be easy to feel discouraged and want to give up.
In those times try this:
1. Be aware of the emotions you are feeling (name them). Honour them by reminding yourself it’s OK to feel them.
2. Take some deep breaths and reflect back on how far you have actually come. The challenges you have overcome to get you to where you are today, use this as strength to keep moving forward.
3. Remind yourself that the journey isn’t supposed to be perfect and that you have the tools to dig deep and keep going.
This is What I Know: Challenges are chapters of your life not your whole story! You Are Enough! You Matter! You’ve got this!
P.S. These strategies also work for your children/students.
Until next time…
14 Oct 2021
Kids want to know ‘They Are Enough!’
I want kids to know it’s possible to face adversity and still choose to believe in yourself! That is why, in my presentations to youth, I share stories about two dreams I had growing up and the challenges I encountered along the way.
My first dream was singing the national anthem at a Blue Jays game. Despite being told NO multiple times, and feeling frustrated and embarrassed each time, I chose to keep asking. My persistence and belief in myself turned that dream into a reality.
The second was auditioning on Canadian Idol. I made it past two rounds of judges only to hear from the celebrity judges, ‘You can’t sing, give up and do something else!’ When I left the competition that day, I felt sad, frustrated, angry and disappointed. I wanted to give up! But then I realized, if I chose to give up, I wouldn’t be respecting myself nor my dreams. So, I chose to keep singing and recorded multiple songs.
Even though I encountered many challenges, I’m so glad I decided to learn the important lessons those challenges were teaching me – lessons of determination, putting in the effort, and most importantly – bouncing back from disappointment so that I could move forward with even more motivation to pursue my dreams.
This is What I Know: We can’t save our children/students from challenges and tough emotions, but we can support them, share with them, and teach them ways to keep going. Reminding them that it’s not as much about the challenges and emotions they face, as it is about who they choose to become and how they choose to bounce back. Challenges are chapters of life, not the whole story and when life gets tough, I want them to know…They Are Enough!
Until next time…
29 Sep 2021
Do you know what makes you happy?
Do you put your happiness on hold?
Do you wait for a special occasion or a goal to be achieved?
This is what I know… Looking for ways to bring happiness into your life is very important to your emotional and mental well-being.
Think of everything you could do to create happiness. It might be talking to a friend/family member, going for nature walks, writing in a journal or watching/playing sports. It could be as simple as starting your day with your favourite breakfast food, song or cup of coffee/tea.
Write your happiness list on a big piece of paper and put it where you can see it.
You have now created your guide to HAPPINESS – a guide that will remind you how to tap into your happy place when you are feeling stressed, anxious or ‘blue’.
I forgot to add…your happiness list should not include ‘I’m only happy when_____ is happy.’ Never let your happiness depend on someone else’s happiness.
You deserve to be HAPPY! Make it a conscious choice!
P.S. Have your children/students create their own list.
Until next time…
29 Jun 2021
It’s been one tough school year!
Even though amusement parks have been closed, I have felt like I have been riding a roller coaster with lots of ups and downs. School opened, school closed, school opened, school closed…causing my emotions to be all over the place – sad, happy, frustrated, disappointed, excited, upset – you get the picture.
That’s why I decided it was more important than ever to focus on gratitude – to focus on what meant a lot to me – what I valued most. I realized that ‘the practice of gratitude’ benefitted me, not only mentally and physically, but also emotionally. Focusing on what I appreciated shifted my mood and mind to a happier state.
With that in mind I want to give a HUGE round of applause to:
Educators (in all capacities): Connecting with students through a screen is tough. Even though you had to quickly adjust and adapt to a new way of interacting, you stayed committed to keeping students interested and engaged. You made a difference for so many kids. You handled their silliness, their emotions & their interruptions with grace.
Parents/Guardians: Being home with your children 24/7 was a test of your patience, endurance and ingenuity. You had to take a more active role in your child’s education, even though you may have been working at the same time. You survived your kids constantly reminding you, ‘I’m hungry. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m hungry.’
Students (including my son Kai): It was a tough go. They had to give up so many routines they looked forward to, like recess, taking the school bus, after school activities, socializing with friends and for some, the before and after school programs. My son told me, even though he could see his teachers and friends virtually, it wasn’t the same as in-person, making it more difficult to stay motivated. I thank our children for being brave, determined, tolerant and patient (a difficult one for all of us).
I believe that no matter what is happening in your life, it is possible to focus on what you are grateful for, even if it’s the tiniest ‘gratitude’. Sometimes, for me, it was simply the thought of sitting quietly for five minutes sipping a coffee.
Wishing you Joy, Fun & Laughter!
Until next time…
10 Jun 2021
Why did you say that/do that?
We tell our kids ‘Be Kind!’
We tell them kindness matters, that being kind makes a difference not only for others, but also for themselves.
Here’s the thing…our kids want to be kind. Whenever I do a presentation for students, they always tell me that kindness matters.
When we see our kids making choices that show kindness we feel proud. When we see a choice that isn’t kind, we immediately ask, ‘WHY did you say that/do that?’
While it is helpful to know the answer to that question – I believe there is a more important question to ask.
Children come to us with what seems like an overwhelming reaction to something we see as ‘no big deal’. To them, it is a ‘BIG deal’.
It can be easy to dismiss the distress your child is experiencing, not because you don’t care, but because you want to add logic, ‘everyone else is experiencing the same thing’ or ‘it will pass’. You may even think, ‘compared to what I’m going through or what’s going on in the world, it’s not a big deal’ and then shrug off their feelings.
It’s important to let kids know that you see their sadness, frustration, upset, anger and worry and that you are going to help them through it.
A few weeks ago my son started crying and then sobbing. He missed his friends so much. My heart was breaking seeing his sadness.
Initially my brain wanted to use logic with him, ‘There’s nothing we can do about it. All your friends are probably feeling the same way.’
I wanted to fix it, but I knew I needed to let him release his emotions. So I sat beside him & let him cry. When I saw he had gotten all his tears out, we talked about what we could do together to help him through his ‘big deal’.
When our children are in an emotional state, our job is not to problem-solve. It is to support, comfort and listen with empathy.
Until next time…
13 May 2021
Let Go of the Guilt
You know it’s important to take care of yourself. You know it will help with your emotional, mental & physical well-being. You know it will boost your happiness and you know by nurturing yourself, it will put you in a better place to help those you love.
Knowing isn’t enough. You actually have to put your knowledge into action.
And beyond that… you have to make self-care a necessity – a MUST do!
Have you made it your top priority?
If not, do you by chance feel guilty when you do something for yourself?
Kids are facing challenging times. They have had to adapt to so many changes and countless cancelled extracurricular activities that they enjoyed and looked forward to.
And what does this trigger… lots of tough emotions that can affect their overall well-being.
One way you can nurture a child’s well-being and help them release their emotions in a healthy way is by engaging in play – an essential component to developing their resilience, confidence, happiness and overall health.
By actively playing with kids you create a stronger bond that shows you care and appreciate them. When I play with my son, it strengthens our connection and becomes the gateway for him to open up about his concerns, emotions, worries and joys.
Support a child’s play experiences by being present and engaged in:
Outdoor fun – a walk, a hike, bicycling, rollerblading, shooting hoops
Games – cards, board games, hide & go seek, scavenger hunt, video game for 2 or more
Music – sing, dance, play an instrument, write a song
Books – read out loud together, play the characters in the book, make funny voices, change the ending
Another way to support your child’s play experience is by asking them to write a list of activities that they would enjoy doing with you. You can then choose something off their list that helps them feel good.
If you’re short on time, you could say, ‘I have a busy day but I have saved 15 minutes to do an activity that you like.’ We do this with our son and he always says, ‘Let’s play mini sticks.’
We set the timer and play. Even 15 minutes of quality play, makes a positive difference by adding joy, laughter, problem solving and connection.
Until next time…
14 Apr 2021
You Can Do This!
With the current announcement of students not going back to in-person learning after the April Break and with everything else going on in our world, there are many emotions being felt.
Allow yourself to feel.
Keep reaching out – sharing – talking with respect for self & others.
Let’s keep supporting one another.
Resilience isn’t a solo event – it takes a community.
Your feelings may be BIG but our Strength together is BIGGER and Stronger!
Until next time…
31 Mar 2021
The Lesson I have Learned
It can be easy to want to strive for perfection.
One of the most important lessons I have learned is that perfection doesn’t exist.
Life is about reflection and redirection…not perfection.
Reflection is a key component in your learning and in your progress.
Reflecting back to choices you have made is helpful. The important part of reflection is remembering not to stay there because it can quickly turn into obsession which is unproductive and unhealthy.
Learn from the choices you make, forgive the mistakes and move forward with your new perspective and lesson learned. Doing this allows you to redirect with purpose.
It gives you the green light to focus on effort and progress, instead of this illusion we call perfection.
So let your imperfect self shine! You are aiming for progress!
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