parenting tips Archives

3 Apr 2025

Eye rolls, yelling, arguing…sound familiar?

Have you ever looked at your child in the middle of an emotional meltdown and thought, ‘This isn’t who you really are?’ We’ve all been there.

Maybe they yelled at you in frustration, rolled their eyes and walked away. Maybe they started crying over something that seemed small to you but felt big to them, or argued over something insignificant, using anger to cover up their disappointment or sadness.

In those moments of frustration, anger, or sadness, it’s easy to lose sight of seeing beyond emotional reactions and forget – they are not defined by their emotions. They’re still a kind and thoughtful person, even when their emotions feel overwhelming. Because they’re still learning to navigate their feelings, those emotions can sometimes overshadow their true character. We must remember—they just haven’t learned how to regulate them yet.

As adults, we’ve had more time to learn—often through trial and error—how to manage emotions in a way that aligns with who we truly are.

Our kids? They’re still figuring it out. It’s our job to help guide them through these emotional reactions, teaching them how to process and respond to their feelings in a healthy way.

The next time you see a child struggling with an emotion, pause. See beyond the emotional reaction. Remind yourself who you know they are. Then ask yourself: ‘How can I help them recognize and work through this feeling?’

This is what I know: Parenting can be challenging, especially when a child’s emotions feel overwhelming. But beneath those emotions is a child still learning—one who needs our support, empathy, and understanding as they navigate life’s ups and downs.

Until next time,

26 Feb 2025

The #1 Mindset that Helps Kids Win in Life

Winning brings success—so does learning. When kids embrace a win-or-learn mindset, they recognize that every experience has value. Whether they achieve their goal or gain new insight, both outcomes help them grow stronger, wiser and more confident.

This perspective teaches them that success isn’t just about crossing the finish line—it’s also about the skills, knowledge and resilience they develop along the way. When kids understand this, they become more willing to take on challenges, push through difficulties and trust in their ability to improve.

Encourage them to reflect on these questions:

✔️ What worked well for me?

✔️ What new skill or understanding did I gain?

✔️ How can I use this experience to keep improving?

A win-or-lose way of thinking can create fear and self-doubt, making kids hesitant to try. But a win-or-learn mindset develops courage, motivation and perseverance.

This is what I know: Whether in school, sports or friendships, remind your kids that every challenge, setback or loss is progress on the path to success.

Until next time…

5 Feb 2025

The Truth About Parenting: What Every Parent Needs to Hear

When I speak with parents, I notice a common thread—a strong desire to support their children and help them thrive. They’re not chasing perfection – parenting through imperfections is something every parent experiences. They just want reassurance that they’re on the right path. And when they discover new strategies, they’re eager to learn and grow alongside their kids.

Parenting comes with highs and lows, and some days, it can feel overwhelming, but here’s the truth—you’re doing better than you think.

In the midst of the busyness and uncertainty, here’s what matters:

Trust Yourself: There’s no perfect way to parent, but your love, effort, and presence matter more than any mistake you might make. Trust that you are enough.

Progress Over Perfection: Parenting isn’t about getting everything right; it’s about showing up, learning, and enjoying the journey. Celebrate the small wins—whether it’s a shared laugh, a moment of patience, or overcoming a challenge together. Parenting through imperfections allows room for these moments of connection.

Embrace the Imperfections: Parenting can be messy, and that’s okay. It’s the mistakes and moments of vulnerability that teach your child resilience and understanding. Embrace each challenge as an opportunity to grow and learn from the experience.

This is what I know:

✔️ Kids don’t need perfect parents.

✔️ You are not alone—every parent faces struggles.

✔️ Mistakes are part of learning, for both you and your child.

✔️ Love and consistency matter more than perfection.

You got this!

Until next time…

18 Dec 2024

The Power of Showing Up for Your Kids

Ah, the joy of showing up for my child’s Christmas concert—an annual tradition filled with festive tunes, awkward choreography and priceless memories.

When my son was little, he’d spot me in the crowd and wave like I was his VIP guest, sometimes mid-song.

Now that he’s 12, the roles have reversed; I’m the one enthusiastically waving when he comes on stage with his class and he pretends not to notice.

I sit in my seat, hoping for even a flicker of acknowledgment, but all I get is the slightest nod that seems to say, “I see you.”

It’s bittersweet and hilarious—watching him grow into his independence while I cling to the glory days of toddler waves from the stage. Still, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Showing up, even when they act like they don’t need us, sends a powerful message: “I see you, I’m proud of you, and I’ll always show up.”

And isn’t that the heart of the holiday season? Showing up for the people we care about, creating memories and celebrating together.

This is what I know: Whether you’re in the audience at a concert, hanging out with family or just sharing a quiet moment, may your holidays be filled with love, laughter and the magic of this holiday season!

Until next time…

6 Nov 2024

Guiding Children’s Choices

Just like a GPS needs a destination to guide us, our brain also works best when it focuses on a specific end result. Similarly, having a clear destination can guide children’s choices, helping them navigate challenges with confidence and purpose.

In life, a child’s ‘GPS destination’ needs to be rooted in their character. This gives them a clear sense of direction, helping them make choices that align with their character. Just like a GPS needs a destination to guide us, our brain also works best when it focuses on a specific end result.

When they don’t have a ‘character destination’ like kindness, honesty, responsibility and determination to help guide their choices, they can easily become sidetracked by their emotions and life’s challenging circumstances.

Three Tips to Help Your Child Set Their ‘Character Destination’

1. Discuss Character Traits: Help them figure out three-character traits they would like to be known for (use this worksheet for inspiration). Encourage them to think about how they might put each chosen trait into practice. This makes character traits real and achievable.

2. Compliment Character: When your child demonstrates their chosen character trait, be specific in your praise. For example, if they chose kindness and helped a struggling friend, say, “I noticed how kind you were when you helped your friend.” By recognizing their efforts, you reinforce how their character destination can guide children’s choices in positive and meaningful ways.

3. Encourage Reflection on Choices: At the end of the day, help your child reflect on how their choices aligned (or didn’t) with their ‘character destination’. Remind them that emotions can sometimes pull them off course. When that happens, reassure them that it’s okay to pause, reset and refocus on making choices based on their character.

This is what I know: By helping your child create and follow a ‘character destination’, you’re giving them a ‘roadmap’ to navigate life’s ups and downs. This strategy not only builds resilience but also guides children’s choices ensuring they stay true to the character traits that matter most to them.

Until next time…

18 Apr 2024

How Powerful is Self-Talk in Shaping a Child’s Resilience?

Recently, I had a conversation with my 11-year-old son about his self-talk during challenging moments—whether on the ice or in everyday life.

I asked him, “What do you tell yourself when things don’t go as planned? How do you bounce back?”

His response was simple yet powerful: “I tell myself, ‘I got this.’ And I keep repeating it.”

When his self talk is, “I got this,” it not only impacts his confidence and determination but also influences the path he will choose to take.

Whenever your child is facing a challenging time, the words they repeat matters. It’s the difference between perseverance and belief in themselves or self-doubt and defeat.

I encourage you to ask your child what they could tell themselves that would give them the power and confidence to bounce back from mistakes, misplays and challenging circumstances.

Here’s What I Know: In teaching them the power of self-talk, you will equip them with a valuable tool for navigating life’s inevitable challenges with courage and resilience.

Until next time…

21 Mar 2024

How to Help Kids When They Act Out

Sometimes kids act out without being mindful of their words and actions, which may result in misunderstandings. And when that happens it can be embarrassing and frustrating, not only for us, but also for them.

How we help kids when they act out, is what matters.

Below are strategies I use with my son:

1. Encourage reflection: Prompt your child to reflect on their actions and consider how they could have handled the situation differently. Encourage them to think about the impact of their words and actions on themselves and others.

2. Cultivate empathy: Help your child consider the feelings of others by prompting them to reflect on how their actions might affect others. Ask them to reflect how they think their actions may impact others and encourage them to consider the feelings of others. Acknowledge and praise children when they demonstrate thoughtfulness and mindfulness in their words and actions.

3. Teach problem-solving skills: Help your child develop problem-solving skills by discussing different ways to approach situations and brainstorming possible solutions together. Encourage them to think about potential consequences before acting.

4. Promote self-compassion: It’s natural to feel guilt and sadness after mistreating someone, even if it was unintentional. Guide your child to apologize, forgive themselves and focus on the lessons learned. Teach them to be kind to themselves when they mess up.

This is what I know: Establishing a nurturing environment when kids act out fosters an atmosphere where children feel safe to share their thoughts and emotions and where they feel supported in their efforts to learn and grow.

8 Feb 2024

Crash Course on Resilience for Kids (Part One)

I’ve been hearing more and more about the lack of resilience skills in our young people particularly noticeable in the aftermath of the pandemic.

In light of this, I’ve created a crash course aimed at strengthening our children’s ‘resilience muscle’ for their overall well-being and future success. Here are the initial four strategies; stay tuned for more ways in the next newsletter.

1. Life is a series of ups and downs. Giving kids the opportunity to find solutions to challenges and mistakes, will enhance their ability to problem solve. It will also give them the confidence to face adversity.

2. Not everyone will like them. Even though that may hurt, it’s essential for children to understand that, even in the face of non-acceptance, they possess the power to love and accept themselves unconditionally.

3. It’s totally normal to experience emotions. Some moments bring happiness and joy, others cause disappointment and frustration. Challenges bring up emotions that can feel overwhelming and vulnerable. Expressing their emotions helps them communicate their needs, seek support and navigate difficulties.

4. Help them reflect on past experiences to identify challenges they have faced and overcome. This process helps them recognize their ability to navigate difficulties, fostering a sense of accomplishment. The realization that they’ve effectively dealt with challenges in the past instills the confidence required to approach similar situations with more calmness.

By arming children with the tools to navigate life’s twists and turns, you empower them to face challenges with courage, learn from setbacks, and cultivate a positive mindset. The efforts you put in today will shape their well-being and success for the future.

Until next time…

25 Oct 2023

Tired Child: Building a Bridge of Understanding

The other evening, my son was really having a hard time listening. I don’t know about you, but when my child isn’t listening, it can trigger lots of different emotions, such as frustration, annoyance and even anger. In these moments, since it’s easy to interpret his lack of listening as a form of disrespect, I consciously work on being mindful of how I am perceiving his behaviour.

If I view it from the perspective of him being intentionally disrespectful and choosing not to listen to me, it’s very easy to react from my anger. However, if I step back and become an observer, I notice something completely different – I notice that he’s tired.

When kids have a tired brain their ability to listen and respond is significantly diminished. They don’t have the capacity to engage with us the way they would when they’re well-rested.

It’s important to recognize this because children, mine included, won’t say, “I’m really tired, and I can’t listen properly because my brain is exhausted.” If I even suggest he might be tired, he will vehemently deny that his words and actions have anything to do with being exhausted.

Instead of interpreting his lack of listening as disrespect, which would cause me to react, I choose to view it as exhaustion. I know that his tired brain is hindering any possibility of a rational discussion. My focus becomes staying calm and avoid taking his words personally, so I can help him achieve a relaxed state.

If there are issues that need addressing, I save those conversations for the morning. After a good night’s sleep, he wakes up transformed, like a totally different person!

This is what I know: Tired brains can’t rationalize. They are reactive, lack emotional regulation and aren’t open to listening and learning. Remembering this will help you approach their behaviour with empathy and patience, allowing you to support them in the best way possible.

Until next time…

12 Oct 2023

How to Handle Kids’ Disappointments and Strengthen Bonds

Life is a series of ups and downs and it’s natural for children to face disappointment along the way.

When my son confides in me about a disappointment, my natural instinct is to think of solutions and ways to fix it, especially if he is feeling sad and dejected.

Disappointments are valuable life lessons that help develop skills like perseverance, empathy, resilience and problem-solving. If you try to protect them from disappointment, it will stop them from developing these essential skills. Without a healthy approach to disappointments, a young person can feel like a failure, causing them to give up or quit.

Below are four strategies to help you and the child in your life effectively deal with disappointment:

1. Acknowledge Emotions

Let them know that it’s okay to feel disappointed and that it’s an emotion that everyone encounters at various times in their life. Remember to acknowledge your own emotions when you see a child experiencing disappointment. Being able to feel your own discomfort is an important part of teaching them to lean into uncomfortable emotions.

2. Validate Emotions

Refrain from dismissing their emotions. Avoid phrases like “It’s not a big deal” or “You’re overreacting.” Such statements invalidate their emotions and can make them feel unheard or misunderstood. Instead, validate their emotions by saying, ‘I understand you’re feeling really disappointed right now’ or ‘That must have been really tough for you.’

3. Teach Emotional Management Strategies

Help them identify healthy ways to release their emotions that bring them comfort and calmness when they are upset, such as deep breathing, counting to ten, or finding an activity that relaxes them.

4. Encourage a Problem-Solving Mindset

Together brainstorm potential solutions or strategies to improve the situation. This approach gives them a plan to better prepare them for handling future disappointments.

Providing a supportive and understanding environment goes a long way to helping a child not only navigate disappointment, but also develop resilience.

Until next time…