Do you find it challenging to prioritize yourself? Me too. I’ve been improving because I’ve learned that setting healthy boundaries, even though sometimes stressful, is crucial for my well-being.
It’s perfectly okay to say ‘no,’ even when saying ‘yes’ is an option. At times, choosing to say ‘no’ is one of the most effective ways to prioritize yourself.
By finding ways to continually set healthy boundaries, you safeguard your time, energy and emotional well-being.
Tips to prioritize yourself and maintain healthy boundaries.
Pause Before Responding: Before saying ‘yes’ out of habit, take a moment to reflect. Is this something you want or need to do? Give yourself permission to say ‘no’ when it doesn’t serve you.
Communicate Clearly and Calmly: Let people know what you can or cannot do without over-explaining or apologizing. A simple, “I can’t do that right now, but thank you for understanding” can go a long way.
Consistency: People may push back, especially if they’re used to you saying ‘yes.’ Stay firm and remember why you set the boundary in the first place.
Remind yourself: ‘Their disappointment is not my guilt.’ It’s okay to uphold a boundary, even if others feel disappointed. People are more resilient in handling disappointment than we often assume.
This is what I know: When you honour your boundaries, you’re prioritizing yourself and protecting your well-being, and in turn, fostering healthier, more respectful relationships. People may not always like it, but they will respect you for it in the long run.
29 May 2024
What is the Impact of Sharing Your Experiences?
Opening up about our experiences can feel scary.
I can empathize with that feeling. It took me a long time to share the challenges that I faced in my life, especially the ones I perceived as my imperfections. I was afraid people would judge me and think I wasn’t good enough. I worried about being rejected or criticized.
Instead, to my surprise, I found that sharing my story created opportunities to connect with others, revealing that I wasn’t alone. People told me that my openness and vulnerability gave them courage to share their own stories, giving them hope to move through their own challenges.
Sharing our thoughts, opinions, and personal experiences allows others to get to know us and discover what we might have in common. While not everyone will resonate or appreciate us, many will feel a sense of connection.
What’s interesting is, that when you share, it often puts others at ease and gives them the courage to do the same. You may discover that, just like you, they were worried about being judged.
This is what I know: You can’t control what others think of you, but you can control what you think of yourself. Stepping out of your comfort zone and authentically sharing your story is not only beneficial to your personal healing but it also gives others the opportunity for connection, support and healing.
Until next time…
21 Dec 2022
Feel Stressed and Overwhelmed?
It’s easy to feel stressed and overwhelmed when you have a lot on your plate – the same may be true for your kids. Everyone has times in their life when it feels as though the world is speeding up and keeping up seems impossible.
I find it easier to keep things in perspective when I take time for me. Making time for ‘You Moments’ is crucial to feeling inner peace. When you take the time to do things to create inner peace your life appears less chaotic. This is also important to model to your kids.
Here are a few things that I do to help me regroup when I feel stressed and overwhelmed:
Pen to Paper – writing out your feelings, nagging thoughts and worries helps clear the clutter that can sometimes take over your mind. I find it very healing to slowly rip up the paper after writing it – a great way to let go of stress and feel a sense of calm
Gratitude Break – feeling and expressing gratitude not only boosts emotional and mental well-being, but also boosts your immune system and your happiness. Focusing on what you enjoy and are grateful for, helps to shift your mood and mind to a happier state.
Breathe – I know this seems obvious but the quality of breaths you take makes a BIG difference in helping you feel calm and relaxed. I notice when I feel stressed and overwhelmed, I tend to take shallow breaths and sometimes even hold my breath. Be conscious of taking big, deep breaths in, hold for 5 seconds, then breathe out. Try five in a row.
Music – listening to your favourite music or singing along to a song can provide a temporary escape from a stressful day. Choosing specific lyrics can help you look at your day differently.
Talk with Friends and Family – carve out time to give them a call. It can be helpful to share your concerns and to hear what is happening in other people’s lives. It reminds you that you are not the only one to feel stressed and overwhelmed.
Drink Water – stress can be caused because our bodies are thirsty. Sip water continuously throughout the day. Being dehydrated can make even the simplest task overwhelming and frustrating.
BONUS TIP
Revamp your To-Do List – create two columns – a MUST DO and a would be NICE to DO.
In the MUST DO column, put everything that is time sensitive and needs to get done that day. In the NICE to DO column, put the things that you would like to accomplish but if you don’t, ‘oh well.’
As you complete a task, cross it off! Crossing tasks off your list feels so good – ‘YAY! I got that done!’
Until next time…
7 Dec 2022
Emotions – No Thank You!
Avoiding emotions and telling yourself not to feel them, impacts your well-being. It affects your ability to communicate with others, your relationships, your performance, and your choices.
Suppressing emotions, pretending not to feel them and saying ‘I’m fine’ can lead to stress, burnout and more importantly emotional fatigue – yes that’s a real thing!
You can’t communicate effectively when you are emotionally charged. Training yourself to be aware of your feelings is essential to being able to communicate calmly and respectfully.
Did your heart skip a beat at the thought of talking about your emotions?
Learning to articulate how you truly feel creates emotional awareness. Most people’s emotional vocabulary consists of angry, sad, happy or anxious. There are many more emotions between those:
angry –> frustrated –> annoyed –> irritated
sad –> disappointed –> regretful –> depressed
happy –> excited –> confident –> content
anxious –> nervous –> worried –> confused
Expressing emotions can be tough. It can feel overwhelming and vulnerable. This is especially true if you learned as a child that sharing your emotions made you seem weak or feel shameful.
Expressing your emotions helps you:
Calm down quicker
Make character-based choices
Bounce back more easily
Improve communication skills
Bring harmony and well-being to your mental and physical state
Instead of reacting and avoiding emotions, take a pause and check-in with how you are feeling.
Here’s what I know: Being mindful of the emotions you are experiencing is essential to making choices in the moment that you can be proud of for the moments to come.
Until next time…
26 Oct 2022
Thriving through Emotional Chaos
At times it can be difficult to remain calm and thrive through the emotional chaos you might be experiencing. Your emotions seem to be all over the place. You promise yourself you won’t let your emotions get the best of you but then they do…you make a reactive choice from your emotions.
Later regret floods your brain. You wish you had taken a breath and been more self-aware of the emotions you were feeling and handled them differently.
Sound familiar?
Since emotions fluctuate and change according to the circumstance and mood you are experiencing, emotions are not a reliable place to make all choices from.
What helps me thrive through the emotional chaos so I can remain calm in order to make choices I am proud of, is keeping my character (who I believe I am), at the forefront of my mind. I repeat, ‘I choose to be respectful and patient.’ I even have it written on post-it notes as a visual reminder 😊
I remind myself that I am allowed to feel frustrated, disappointed, angry, upset (so are you). When I take a deep breath and say, ‘Sara, it’s OK to feel that way but your character is Respect & Patience’, it actually shifts my approach. It shifts my choices.
Training yourself to be conscious of the emotions you are experiencing so that you can breathe through them to make character-based choices, is essential to making choices in the moment that you can be proud of for the moments to come.
Until next time…
26 Oct 2021
Are you feeling discouraged and want to give up?
When times are tough and emotions run high, it can be easy to feel discouraged and want to give up.
In those times try this:
1. Be aware of the emotions you are feeling (name them). Honour them by reminding yourself it’s OK to feel them.
2. Take some deep breaths and reflect back on how far you have actually come. The challenges you have overcome to get you to where you are today, use this as strength to keep moving forward.
3. Remind yourself that the journey isn’t supposed to be perfect and that you have the tools to dig deep and keep going.
This is What I Know: Challenges are chapters of your life not your whole story! You Are Enough! You Matter! You’ve got this!
P.S. These strategies also work for your children/students.
Until next time…
29 Sep 2021
Do you know what makes you happy?
Do you put your happiness on hold?
Do you wait for a special occasion or a goal to be achieved?
This is what I know… Looking for ways to bring happiness into your life is very important to your emotional and mental well-being.
Think of everything you could do to create happiness. It might be talking to a friend/family member, going for nature walks, writing in a journal or watching/playing sports. It could be as simple as starting your day with your favourite breakfast food, song or cup of coffee/tea.
Write your happiness list on a big piece of paper and put it where you can see it.
You have now created your guide to HAPPINESS – a guide that will remind you how to tap into your happy place when you are feeling stressed, anxious or ‘blue’.
I forgot to add…your happiness list should not include ‘I’m only happy when_____ is happy.’ Never let your happiness depend on someone else’s happiness.
You deserve to be HAPPY! Make it a conscious choice!
P.S. Have your children/students create their own list.
Until next time…
13 May 2021
Let Go of the Guilt
You know it’s important to take care of yourself. You know it will help with your emotional, mental & physical well-being. You know it will boost your happiness and you know by nurturing yourself, it will put you in a better place to help those you love.
Knowing isn’t enough. You actually have to put your knowledge into action.
And beyond that… you have to make self-care a necessity – a MUST do!
Have you made it your top priority?
If not, do you by chance feel guilty when you do something for yourself?
With the current announcement of students not going back to in-person learning after the April Break and with everything else going on in our world, there are many emotions being felt.
Allow yourself to feel.
Keep reaching out – sharing – talking with respect for self & others.
Let’s keep supporting one another.
Resilience isn’t a solo event – it takes a community.
Your feelings may be BIG but our Strength together is BIGGER and Stronger!
Until next time…
18 Feb 2021
How to Maintain Healthy Relationships
Relationships can be challenging, creating emotions that we are sometimes afraid to share or admit. We are all emotional beings, experiencing a wide range of emotions – yet, it is one of our commonalities that we feel uncomfortable talking about.
During my presentations, regardless of the age of my audience, I ask, ‘why are emotions hard to share?’ The number one answer is ‘fear of judgment’. It can be too easy to meet emotions with judgment and denial which then creates a disconnect in relationships. Our brain will want to know WHY someone is feeling a certain way so that it can judge if the feeling is warranted. What if we could validate an emotion even if we don’t understand where it is coming from?
Think about how you would like someone to approach your emotions.
Here’s a scenario:
A) You share that you are feeling overwhelmed, frustrated and sad. Your partner, colleague, friend or family member says, ‘stop it – you are overreacting.’ Does that reaction tell you that it’s not ok to feel your emotions? Do you feel there is no space to share your true emotions? Do you feel guilt or shame for sharing?
How about this…
B) You share that you are feeling overwhelmed, frustrated and sad. Your partner, colleague, friend or family member says to you ‘It’s ok to feel. There is a lot going on. I have also felt those emotions.’ Now how do you feel? Do you feel seen? Connected? Supported?
We all want to be heard, be seen and be loved – this is universal. One of the best ways to validate and to connect with others (including your children/students) is to support their emotions by remembering that ‘It’s OK to feel and that It’s OK not to feel OK.’ This is what strengthens relationships.
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