April 2026 - UPower Presentations

22 Apr 2026

Are you proud of yourself?

We often say to kids ‘good job’ or ‘I’m proud of you.’

Those words matter, but they can train kids to look outward for validation instead of inward for recognition.

A simple question shifts that focus: ‘Are you proud of yourself?’

It sounds small, but it changes where the reflection happens.

Instead of waiting for approval, kids begin to pause and consider their own effort and choices.

I notice this with my son Kai. His instinct is often to look up and check my reaction. It’s a natural response as kids learn quickly that adult feedback signals how they’re doing.

When I pause and ask, ‘Are you proud of yourself?’, it shifts the focus back to him, rather than the response from me.

At first, many kids won’t know how to answer. Some will shrug, some will look unsure, and some will repeat what they think they’re supposed to say…that’s okay.

This isn’t about getting the “right” answer.

It’s about building a habit of reflecting on themselves. It’s about learning to recognize their own effort, not just having it recognized by others.

This is what I know: Kids will move from needing to be told they did well… to knowing it for themselves.

Until next time…

How to Confidently Be Yourself

There’s a quiet pressure that shows up for both kids and adults.
Fit in. Don’t stand out too much. Be liked.

A child stays quiet instead of sharing their idea.
A teen laughs along, even when it doesn’t feel right.
An adult holds back their opinion in a meeting.

Not because they don’t have something to offer…but because they don’t want to feel different.

I saw this with my son the other day. He was telling me about something that happened at school. He had an idea that he didn’t share.

“Why not?” I asked.
He shrugged, “I didn’t want to be the only one.”

Listening to him, I realized that self-doubt has no age limit.

Here’s the truth:
We don’t lose our light.
We learn to cover it to avoid judgment, standing alone, or getting it wrong.

Every time we do that, we send ourselves a message:
Who I am isn’t quite right.

To confidently be yourself, try this:
Instead of, “Will they like this?”
Ask yourself, “Does this reflect who I want to be?”

This is what I know: Each time you choose to confidently be yourself, you build something stronger than approval: the courage to be yourself.

Until next time…