){kind=icon}
When Kids Struggle Twice
Kids can struggle twice from the same circumstance.
The first time is when something happens. They don’t make the team, a friend leaves them out, a school assignment is hard, or something doesn’t go the way they hoped.
The second time happens when the people around them dismiss the emotions the circumstance triggers.
Imagine your child comes home upset and disappointed because they weren’t invited to a birthday party. They may feel rejected, embarrassed, or left out.
Instead of acknowledging their feelings, you might try to make them feel better by saying, “No need to be upset. You’ll get invited to others.”
When you don’t acknowledge where kids are emotionally or give them space to feel what they’re feeling, they may begin to believe their emotions are wrong or that they shouldn’t feel the way they do.
We need to give kids the opportunity to talk about what they’re experiencing without shutting them down or trying to redirect their feelings. In doing so, we are communicating that, ‘It’s OK to feel how you feel’, even when you may see the situation differently.
When kids know they’ve been heard and understood, they’re more open to our support as they work through their emotions and consider what they want to do next.
This is what I know: Our kids may struggle with what happens to them, but they shouldn’t have to struggle with feeling misunderstood when they share their emotions with us.
Until next time…
