Sometimes kids say things that hurt—words that feel disrespectful. In those moments, it’s natural to react. But here’s something to consider:
When we don’t react—when we take a pause instead of reacting—a shift can happen—our kids reflect on what they’ve said. And in that reflection, they often come back with something like, “I’m sorry I said that.”
What happens when we do react? The focus shifts. Their reflection turns into defensiveness. Instead of thinking about their words, they’re now thinking about ours. And often their question becomes: “Well, are you going to say sorry too?”
This is what I know: Next time your child says something disrespectful, try taking a pause instead of reacting. Giving the moment space doesn’t mean you’re okay with the behavior. It means you’re giving them a chance to think about what they said—and that’s often when the apology comes.
Until next time…
3 Apr 2025
Eye rolls, yelling, arguing…sound familiar?
Have you ever looked at your child in the middle of an emotional meltdown and thought, ‘This isn’t who you really are?’ We’ve all been there.
Maybe they yelled at you in frustration, rolled their eyes and walked away. Maybe they started crying over something that seemed small to you but felt big to them, or argued over something insignificant, using anger to cover up their disappointment or sadness.
In those moments of frustration, anger, or sadness, it’s easy to lose sight of seeing beyond emotional reactions and forget – they are not defined by their emotions. They’re still a kind and thoughtful person, even when their emotions feel overwhelming. Because they’re still learning to navigate their feelings, those emotions can sometimes overshadow their true character. We must remember—they just haven’t learned how to regulate them yet.
As adults, we’ve had more time to learn—often through trial and error—how to manage emotions in a way that aligns with who we truly are.
Our kids? They’re still figuring it out. It’s our job to help guide them through these emotional reactions, teaching them how to process and respond to their feelings in a healthy way.
The next time you see a child struggling with an emotion, pause. See beyond the emotional reaction. Remind yourself who you know they are. Then ask yourself: ‘How can I help them recognize and work through this feeling?’
This is what I know: Parenting can be challenging, especially when a child’s emotions feel overwhelming. But beneath those emotions is a child still learning—one who needs our support, empathy, and understanding as they navigate life’s ups and downs.
Until next time,
26 Feb 2025
The #1 Mindset that Helps Kids Win in Life
Winning brings success—so does learning. When kids embrace a win-or-learn mindset, they recognize that every experience has value. Whether they achieve their goal or gain new insight, both outcomes help them grow stronger, wiser and more confident.
This perspective teaches them that success isn’t just about crossing the finish line—it’s also about the skills, knowledge and resilience they develop along the way. When kids understand this, they become more willing to take on challenges, push through difficulties and trust in their ability to improve.
Encourage them to reflect on these questions:
✔️ What worked well for me?
✔️ What new skill or understanding did I gain?
✔️ How can I use this experience to keep improving?
A win-or-lose way of thinking can create fear and self-doubt, making kids hesitant to try. But a win-or-learn mindset develops courage, motivation and perseverance.
This is what I know: Whether in school, sports or friendships, remind your kids that every challenge, setback or loss is progress on the path to success.
Until next time…
5 Feb 2025
The Truth About Parenting: What Every Parent Needs to Hear
When I speak with parents, I notice a common thread—a strong desire to support their children and help them thrive. They’re not chasing perfection – parenting through imperfections is something every parent experiences. They just want reassurance that they’re on the right path. And when they discover new strategies, they’re eager to learn and grow alongside their kids.
Parenting comes with highs and lows, and some days, it can feel overwhelming, but here’s the truth—you’re doing better than you think.
In the midst of the busyness and uncertainty, here’s what matters:
Trust Yourself: There’s no perfect way to parent, but your love, effort, and presence matter more than any mistake you might make. Trust that you are enough.
Progress Over Perfection: Parenting isn’t about getting everything right; it’s about showing up, learning, and enjoying the journey. Celebrate the small wins—whether it’s a shared laugh, a moment of patience, or overcoming a challenge together. Parenting through imperfections allows room for these moments of connection.
Embrace the Imperfections: Parenting can be messy, and that’s okay. It’s the mistakes and moments of vulnerability that teach your child resilience and understanding. Embrace each challenge as an opportunity to grow and learn from the experience.
This is what I know:
✔️ Kids don’t need perfect parents.
✔️ You are not alone—every parent faces struggles.
✔️ Mistakes are part of learning, for both you and your child.
✔️ Love and consistency matter more than perfection.
You got this!
Until next time…
8 Jan 2025
Boost Kids’ Confidence with Daily Intentions
Intentions are a wonderful opportunity to inspire kids to think about how they want to show up in their daily lives.
By encouraging them to set daily intentions focused on who they want to be (rather than just what they want to achieve), you help them align with their character. This practice nurtures emotional and mental well-being, fostering confidence and resilience throughout the year.
Creating daily intentions doesn’t mean every day will be perfect or without challenges. Rather, it’s about giving kids a tool to guide their choices and actions, especially when faced with difficult or awkward moments.
An intention is a simple, focused choice—a way to decide who they want to be or how they want to feel on any given day.
3 Steps to Make Daily Intentions Part of Their Routine
1.Choose One Intention: Encourage kids to pick a simple phrase that reflects how they want to approach the day. They can come up with their own or use suggestions like: ✨Today, I choose kindness. ✨I choose to be a good listener. ✨I am brave. ✨I will stay curious and keep learning. ✨I will speak kindly to myself. ✨I embrace new challenges with confidence. ✨I choose to be a good teammate.
2.Write It Down or Say It Aloud: Help them reinforce the daily intention by writing it on a sticky note, drawing a picture of it or saying it out loud.
3. Reflect and Check In: Throughout the day, ask how their intention is guiding them. For example, “How did choosing kindness help you with your friends today?”
This is what I know: By encouraging your child to set daily intentions, you’re helping them develop a growth mindset. This simple practice sets them up to face challenges with courage and adaptability, making the year ahead an opportunity for emotional and personal growth.
Until next time…
18 Dec 2024
The Power of Showing Up for Your Kids
Ah, the joy of showing up for my child’s Christmas concert—an annual tradition filled with festive tunes, awkward choreography and priceless memories.
When my son was little, he’d spot me in the crowd and wave like I was his VIP guest, sometimes mid-song.
Now that he’s 12, the roles have reversed; I’m the one enthusiastically waving when he comes on stage with his class and he pretends not to notice.
I sit in my seat, hoping for even a flicker of acknowledgment, but all I get is the slightest nod that seems to say, “I see you.”
It’s bittersweet and hilarious—watching him grow into his independence while I cling to the glory days of toddler waves from the stage. Still, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
Showing up, even when they act like they don’t need us, sends a powerful message: “I see you, I’m proud of you, and I’ll always show up.”
And isn’t that the heart of the holiday season? Showing up for the people we care about, creating memories and celebrating together.
This is what I know: Whether you’re in the audience at a concert, hanging out with family or just sharing a quiet moment, may your holidays be filled with love, laughter and the magic of this holiday season!
Until next time…
20 Nov 2024
Self Reliant Kids: Power Up Their Mind – Not Their Devices
In today’s world, where technology plays a significant role in a child’s life, it’s easy for kids to become overly reliant on devices. Encouraging self reliant kids is important to ensure they grow up with independence and life skills. Don’t get me wrong, technology has many benefits, however, it can feel like it’s taking over.
When kids are encouraged to trust their abilities, they develop the confidence to tackle challenges head-on. Self reliant kids begin to see the incredible potential within themselves—their ideas, creativity and resourcefulness.
It’s more important than ever to teach kids how to rely on themselves rather than always reaching for a device.
1. Nurture Curiosity over Quick Answers
When your child has a question or faces a challenge, resist the urge to let them turn to a device for answers. Instead, ask questions like, ‘What ideas can you come up with?’ or ‘What’s one thing you could try to solve this?’ This practice will help build self reliant kids.
2. Build on What They Already Know
Encourage your child to recall past experiences or lessons they’ve learned to solve a problem. For example, if they’re stuck, ask, ‘What have you learned before that could help with this?’ or ‘Does this make you think of something you’ve seen or done before?’ Such reflections are pivotal for building self reliant kids.
3. Embrace Challenges as Opportunities to Learn
When your child gets stuck, remind them, ‘It’s okay not to have the answer right away—sometimes our brains need extra time to think.’ This teaches them to trust their mental process instead of defaulting to technology for instant solutions.
This what I know: Encouraging children to trust their own judgment doesn’t mean removing technology; it means guiding them to recognize that their true strength lies within themselves, not in a screen. Self reliant kids learn to rely on themselves first.
Until next time…
6 Nov 2024
Guiding Children’s Choices
Just like a GPS needs a destination to guide us, our brain also works best when it focuses on a specific end result. Similarly, having a clear destination can guide children’s choices, helping them navigate challenges with confidence and purpose.
In life, a child’s ‘GPS destination’ needs to be rooted in their character. This gives them a clear sense of direction, helping them make choices that align with their character. Just like a GPS needs a destination to guide us, our brain also works best when it focuses on a specific end result.
When they don’t have a ‘character destination’ like kindness, honesty, responsibility and determination to help guide their choices, they can easily become sidetracked by their emotions and life’s challenging circumstances.
Three Tips to Help Your Child Set Their ‘Character Destination’
1. Discuss Character Traits: Help them figure out three-character traits they would like to be known for (use this worksheet for inspiration). Encourage them to think about how they might put each chosen trait into practice. This makes character traits real and achievable.
2. Compliment Character: When your child demonstrates their chosen character trait, be specific in your praise. For example, if they chose kindness and helped a struggling friend, say, “I noticed how kind you were when you helped your friend.” By recognizing their efforts, you reinforce how their character destination can guide children’s choices in positive and meaningful ways.
3. Encourage Reflection on Choices: At the end of the day, help your child reflect on how their choices aligned (or didn’t) with their ‘character destination’. Remind them that emotions can sometimes pull them off course. When that happens, reassure them that it’s okay to pause, reset and refocus on making choices based on their character.
This is what I know: By helping your child create and follow a ‘character destination’, you’re giving them a ‘roadmap’ to navigate life’s ups and downs. This strategy not only builds resilience but also guides children’s choices ensuring they stay true to the character traits that matter most to them.
Until next time…
23 Oct 2024
Feedback – Hurtful to Helpful
When feedback is shared with our children, it might hurt at first, particularly if it seems critical. It’s natural for kids to take things personally and feel defensive, upset or disappointed. This is where we can step in and guide them toward a different way of thinking. Transitioning feedback from hurtful to helpful can make a significant difference.
My son came home visibly frustrated after receiving feedback from his coaches. When I asked him what was said, the words didn’t seem harsh. It was his interpretation of those words that was fueling his frustration. This inspired a family exercise we now call ‘Hurtful vs. Helpful’.
I sat Kai down and asked him again what his coach had said. Then, I followed up with: “What is your mind telling you about those words?”
His response revealed why he was so upset: “My mind is telling me I’m not good enough. They don’t think I’m good enough.”
I then asked him: “What if your coaches weren’t trying to hurt you but were actually trying to help you? What if they believe in your potential and want to see you improve, and that’s why they gave you this feedback?”
We discussed how we can’t control what others say or how they say it. However, we do have control over how we interpret their words and what we tell ourselves about what was said. This helps in turning hurtful feedback into something helpful.
I asked, “If you saw their feedback as them trying to help you because they believe in you, how would that change how you feel?”
After a pause, he said, “I’d feel happier.”
I then asked, “And if you felt happier, what would you choose to do next?”
He replied, “I’d try what they’re suggesting.”
This is what I know: How kids perceive feedback affects their emotions, which in turn influences their behavior, choices and mindset. Teaching them to understand that feedback can be seen as hurtful or helpful, allows them to focus on the positive aspects which will benefit them now and in the future.
Until next time…
28 Aug 2024
Rock the School Year: 3 Tips for a Child’s Success
The beginning of the school year – a time when emotions can be heightened, from excitement to anxiety and all the feelings in between. I remember those feelings from my own childhood!
Telling a child… ‘you can do this, you’re stronger than you think, you’ll get through this, just be yourself, focus on the fun parts’ – they can’t – no matter how many times they hear it! When emotions are overwhelming, it can be hard for kids to focus on positive affirmations or past successes.
Without strategies a child’s emotions can quickly become unmanageable, affecting their resilience and heightening their anxiety.
Three tips to help kids work through their emotions:
1. Problem-Solving is an essential tool for building emotional resilience. Encourage kids to reflect on their emotions and how to navigate different situations through role-playing. For example, you can create scenarios they might encounter at school, such as dealing with a disagreement with a friend, walking down the hall past older students, handling peer pressure, or tackling a difficult homework assignment. Acting out these scenarios allows them to express their feelings in a safe space, gain a sense of control, practice effective responses and explore various solutions.
2. Positive Self-Talk plays a significant role in building emotional resilience by helping kids manage their thoughts, emotions and reactions in challenging circumstances. It helps counteract negative thoughts that can lead to feelings of anxiety, stress or self-doubt. Reminding themselves that they can handle the situation or that they’ve been through tough times before, can reduce feelings of overwhelm and boost their confidence. Help your child come up with a positive phrase, such as ‘I can do this’, ‘I believe in myself’ or ‘I am brave.’ Suggest they write it down and place it in their room as a constant reminder.
3. Mindfulness Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation and visualization significantly strengthen their emotional resilience by fostering increased awareness, more effective management and deeper understanding of how emotions influence their moods. By practicing mindfulness, kids learn to observe their thoughts and emotions without immediately reacting to them. This pause creates space to choose more constructive responses, helping to prevent impulsive reactions and reduce emotional outbursts. Here’s a link to a 2-minute meditation that my 12-year-old son likes https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jholcb8Gz0M
By equipping them with these strategies, you’re not only helping them manage stressful emotions but also fostering a sense of inner strength and calm that will serve them throughout their lives.
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