kids feelings Archives

Naming ‘the elephant’ Builds Connection

Last week, I walked into my presentation with a bandage on my forehead. Before I started, I told the students what happened: I had tripped, hit my forehead, and ended up with a small cut.

Why did I start there? Because otherwise it would have been the elephant in the room and kids always notice ‘the elephant’. If we don’t explain, they fill in the gaps with their own guesses, worries, or assumptions.

Sharing what’s happening shows kids that it’s okay to notice, ask questions and share how they feel – the keys to building connection with kids in everyday interactions.

Ways to Connect
1. Name it: Tell them what’s happening when they notice something.
2. Keep it simple: A short, honest explanation is enough.
3. Invite conversation: Encourage questions and let them share their feelings.

When you do this, you are showing children that they can trust their observations and their feelings.

This is what I know: They will learn they are not alone, that feelings matter, and that mistakes are part of life – all essential for building connection with kids and helping them grow into compassionate, confident, and resilient people.

Until next time…

9 Nov 2022

Kids want you to know…

‘I really enjoyed your presentation. It opened a few doors for me. This past year I went through some problems but your presentation showed me another way of looking at my problems. You really helped me to know that my feelings big or small are normal and that it’s okay to feel.’ – Male Student

Sometimes kids think they should only feel HAPPY because they believe that is the only way people will accept them.

Kids tell me that when they hear, ‘It’s OK to feel what you are feeling’, they know they have been respected and validated – that they have been given the space to express and share their emotions.

Space to feel gives space to heal.

Practicing ‘space’ builds connection (1 min video). It allows kids to feel comforted, supported, and more open to finding ways to move with and through their emotions.

Remind them that feeling a wide range of emotions is natural and normal and that we accept them no matter how they are feeling.

The more we choose to step outside our comfort zone by acknowledging and sharing our own emotions, we model and teach them that…‘It’s OK to feel what you are feeling‘.

Until next time…