I received an email from a student who felt they were two different people – one side of them is their school self, the other side is their home self.
I could relate to this student as I remember my ‘school self’ being self conscious – worried about what others thought about me – wanting to be liked and accepted by everyone. I did have confident moments and many good times in school, but there was a voice in my head sometimes saying, ‘What will they think? Do they really like me?‘
Looking back, I can see that there were times when those self-defeating thoughts stopped me from being totally free to Just Be Me.
My ‘home self’ felt and still feels free – a place where I allow myself to relax and be me. When I am home I don’t worry about my clothes matching or what my hair looks like. I can choose to change into my pyjamas as soon as I step inside the door and to feel my true emotions without worry of judgments.
When you are not being who you really are, you are most likely worried about what other people are thinking about you. I still have moments when I worry what others think of me. But now I recognize those moments.
That recognition now gives me two choices: Allow those thoughts to hold me back from being me or notice the thought and take a stand for who I am regardless of the opinions of others.
The true essence of who you are should not change from place to place. If you feel you have to pretend to be someone that you are not in order to ‘fit in’, not only is it exhausting, but also frustrating.
Being true to you will be way more fulfilling than trying to be someone that you aren’t. Your real friends will accept you for who you are.
At the end of the day I believe it is imperative that you can say ‘I am proud of who I was today.’