kids and emotions Archives

Why Kids Need Space after School?

It doesn’t matter if your child is usually a chatterbox or more reserved—sometimes, getting them to open up after school can be tough, at least for me. 😊

Your child arrives home, and you can’t wait to hear every detail. You ask, “How was your day?”

And you get… “Good.” (That’s my son’s go-to response)

Or maybe you get, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Or nothing at all.

Sound familiar?

School days are long. They require a lot of emotional energy: paying attention, learning new things, navigating friendships, following rules, and being ‘on’ from start to finish.

It’s not about shutting you out — it’s that kids need space to unwind before they can talk. Instead of pressing for details right away, try giving them a calm, welcoming space. Offer a snack, suggest a quiet activity, or simply let them settle in.

When kids feel they have permission to decompress, they’re more likely to open up on their own. Sometimes the conversation comes minutes later, sometimes at bedtime, or even the next day — and that’s completely normal.

I know for my son bedtime is when he opens up – that’s when I get information I thought would happen as soon as he walked in the door.

This is what I know: Respecting that kids need space helps them feel supported and more willing to share when they’re ready.

Until next time…

25 Sep 2024

Teaching Kids the Emotional Impact of Their Actions

My son was getting ready for school, but not at the pace he needed to in order to catch the bus. I started noticing a pattern – every time I reminded him to do something, he responded with, ‘I’ll do it. Just give me a minute.’

The minutes kept passing and nothing was getting done. He had tasks to complete to be ready on time, but they weren’t being done. I felt my irritation building, realizing that my frustration stemmed not only from his inaction, but also from his lack of awareness of the emotional impact of his actions.

Finally, I looked at him and said, ‘I’m feeling really irritated. You keep asking for a minute but then you don’t actually get the task done .’ He gave me a surprised look and said,’ Mom, I didn’t know that you felt irritated.’

And I thought, ‘Seriously? You didn’t realize that me asking over and over again would be irritating?’

Lightbulb moment

He’s right. I’ve been experiencing emotions and understanding how people’s actions affect others’ emotional states for much longer than he has. It’s easy to assume that our kids should know how their actions (or lack of action) affect others, but in his words, ‘I didn’t know that. I’m still learning.’

And I realized—yes—he is still learning. While our kids might be more aware of their own emotions, understanding the emotional impact of actions on others is a very different challenge. It takes time, practice, and open communication.

This is what I know:

As frustrating as these moments can be, they are opportunities for growth – for both of us. It’s a reminder to be patient, not just with our kids but with ourselves, as we guide them through the complex world of emotions. Just as learning how to read or ride a bike takes practice and patience, so does learning how to interpret and respond to the emotions of others.

Until next time…