Do you find yourself wanting to give feedback in the sports or activities your child is engaged in? Are you speaking to your child’s way of listening?

Our son plays hockey.

My husband and I found that giving immediate feedback on his performance as soon as he steps off the ice or during the car ride home, wasn’t landing well.

As parents we thought we were being helpful and supportive. We thought we were speaking to his way of listening. Instead, it only caused frustration and irritation. Not only were we off in our timing, we also realized we weren’t speaking to his way of listening.

Fortunately, we recognized this and called a family meeting where we asked him, ‘What do you need from us?’ and ‘How will you hear us best?’

He shared that he didn’t want to talk right after because he needed time to decompress from the competitive adrenaline racing through his body – makes sense. He said, ‘When I’m ready, I want to hear two things I did really well and two things I can improve on.’

This allowed his voice to be heard and created connection. It also gave us valuable insight into how and when he hears information best. It helped us speak to his way of listening.

By empowering our son to voice his needs, we’re helping him self-advocate and also giving him a sense of independence. This not only benefits him in hockey but also in all aspects of his life, especially relationships.

Just as teamwork is crucial in his hockey, it’s also essential within the family unit. By working together and understanding each other’s perspectives, we are able to better support our son in his athletic pursuits and personal growth.

This is what I know: It’s important to recognize that what works for you may not necessarily work for your child. By being open to adjusting your approach, you learn to speak to your child’s listening, which is essential for fostering a healthy parent-child relationship.

Until next time…